Someone just called your UX ‘the worst they’ve ever seen

👋 Hey friend,

This week I talked about tough feedback and how we default to “success theatre” instead of digging deeper.

But here’s what I didn’t mention: Most PMs are terrible at getting the feedback that actually matters.

And the best feedback? It comes from your angriest customers.

I Actually LOVE When Customers Leave Negative Feedback

I know that sounds masochistic, but hear me out.

While most PMs hide from negative feedback, I actively seek it out. I have a recurring calendar reminder to check CSAT and NPS daily, and when I see a negative comment, I email that customer within 24 hours.

Here’s what I’ve discovered after 100+ of these calls:

They’re never as mean as their reviews sound. That scathing review that made you want to crawl under a rock? In person, they’re usually just frustrated humans living through real pain.

They give you the most honest feedback you’ll ever get. Happy customers sugarcoat things. They tell you what you want to hear. Detractors tell you exactly what’s broken, why it’s broken, and how it’s affecting their actual work.

They reveal problems you never knew existed. Your analytics might show high engagement, but angry customers show you where your product is actually failing real people trying to get real work done.

My Detractor Call Framework

Here’s the exact approach I use:

The 24-Hour Rule

Email/Call within 24 hours of the negative feedback while it’s fresh in their mind and your empathy is high.

The Opening

Start with genuine curiosity, not defense:

• “Hi [Name], I saw your feedback and I genuinely want to understand what happened”

• “We’re talking today because your feedback matters to us, and I want to make sure we get this right”

The Deep Dive

Ask questions that uncover the real story:

• “Can you walk me through what you were trying to accomplish when this happened?”

• “What was the specific moment when things went wrong?”

• “How did this compare to what you were expecting?”

• “What would have made this work for you?”

The Impact Assessment

Understand the real consequences:

• “What’s the impact of this issue on your work?”

• “On a scale of 1-10, how critical is solving this for you?”

• “Are there workarounds you’ve found, or is this completely blocking you?”

The Vision

Get them to paint the picture:

• “If you could wave a magic wand, what would the ideal experience look like?”

• “How would this impact your day-to-day if it just worked”

The golden rule: Listen 80%, talk 20%. Your job is to understand, not to fix everything on the call.

What to Do With What You Learn

The call is just the beginning. Here’s how to turn angry feedback into product gold:

Immediate Actions (Within 24 Hours)

• Write up detailed notes while it’s fresh

• Share insights with your team

• Identify 1-2 specific improvements you can make

• Follow up with the customer about next steps

Pattern Recognition

After 5-10 calls, you’ll start seeing patterns:

• Common pain points across different users

• Workflow assumptions that were wrong

• Features that seemed important but aren’t

• Missing functionality that’s actually critical

Product Decisions

Use this feedback to:

• Prioritize your roadmap based on real user pain

• Write better requirements that address actual problems

• Design experiences that match user mental models

• Create documentation that answers real questions

The Surprising Results

After a year of doing this religiously, here’s what happened:

Our CSAT went up. Not because we fixed everything, but because customers felt heard and saw us actually improving.

Our feature priorities completely changed. What seemed important in internal meetings wasn’t what users actually needed.

Our team got better at user empathy. When everyone hears real customer pain regularly, it changes how you build products.

We caught critical bugs faster. Angry customers report issues more clearly and urgently than bug reports.

Most surprisingly: Several of our angriest customers became our biggest advocates. There’s something powerful about showing someone you care enough to call them.

Want to Get Better at This?

Must reads:

• The Mom Test - Rob Fitzpatrick’s guide to customer conversations that don’t lie

• Jobs to Be Done - Framework for understanding real user needs

• The Lean Startup - Eric Ries on validated learning through customer feedback

Your Challenge

Here’s what I want you to do this week:

1. Find your most recent negative feedback response

2. Call/ email that customer within 24 hours

3. Use the framework above

4. Take detailed notes

5. Share one takeaway with your team in slack

I guarantee you’ll learn something that changes how you think about your product.

Tips:

• Record calls (with permission) to catch nuances you missed

• Follow up in 30 days to see if your changes actually helped (put this in your calendar right away)

• Create a feedback loop where you report back to customers what you learned

Your Turn

When was the last time you called a detractor? If the answer is “never” or “I can’t remember,” this might be the most important skill you’re not developing.

The customers who hate your product the most often have the clearest vision of what it could become.

I’m collecting the best detractor call stories. Reply and tell me about your most enlightening angry customer conversation. What did you learn that surprised you? Bonus points if you include what you were afraid would happen versus what actually happened – I bet the reality was much better than your fear.

See you next week!

— Stef

P.S. Know a PM who’s afraid to call angry customers? Send this their way – they’ll thank you later (and so will their users).

Also don’t forget to check out the call templates here 👉️ Template